One month:
That's how long I've been in Ireland now. Exactly one month with about 2 more to go. Last time I even looked at this journal was near the very begining when I first arrived. Since then my feelings have been changing quite a bit. In a recent letter to my mom I wrote:
Sad to say I really can't wait until May when I can come home. I'm starting to feel the homesickness factor now. It's nothing too great, so no worries. I obviously can't come home anyway, and I'm not really ready to leave Ireland just yet. I'm just really missing everything that's going on back home that I can't be there to see. Like Noah loosing his teeth. I miss the chaos the house is in when you're taking down all the snowmen stuff and getting ready for easter/spring decorating. I miss Dad's teasing and his yelling at me to do the dishes, or clean up the hair in the bathroom. I miss not being able to get in my car and drive somewhere when I need to. There've been so many times I've wanted to just call Tristan or Sarah up and ask them if they want to hang out today.
This trip is making me realize how important everything back home is to me. How important the family means to me, and how much I cherish and love all my friends back home. I don't think I tell you and Dad, enough how much I love you and that I really do appreciate all that you've done for me. There are people I know who don't have parents at all, or who do have parents but are horrible ones, and have horrible habits. If it wasn't for you and Dad I probably wouldn't even be able to go on this trip, let alone be the person I am today. Thanks to the way you brought me up, I know that I am becoming more and more responsible to my life and actions. For that I am convinced that you are the best parents inthe world. I don't think I show my appreciation to the rest of the family that much either. I don't spend a lot of time with the cousins (Excpet for Tristan of course) and I could see Annette and the boys anytime I wanted because they're only minutes from the house, and I don't even take that opportunity.
As much as I want to come home, I'm scared to as well. I don't want to have to worry about all this debt and money issues I'm going to have. I wish I didn't have to deal with that stupid FAFSA to get my loans out for next school year. I really hope I have a job at TJ Maxx when I get back too. Just in case, I'm going to do some job searching while I'm in Ireland so that I can try and get one when I come back. I don't want to financially burden you or Dad. I wish I was going into a Doctor profession or something because then I'd have the money to buy you two a cabin or a condo in Florida. But sadly my teacher's salary isn't going to get me much. I might be able to to the cabin idea, but probably not the condo in Florida.
I'm getting along with everyone in the group just fine, but like I've said before I don't have any real close relationships with anyone here. They all like to go out to the pubs and drink and what not. I go out with them, I just don't drink and then everyone asks why and so I tell them "I just don't want to" then I get all these wierd looks and then everyone just forgets about it. There are a few other girls who don't really drink either, and one of them I hang around quite a bit, but other than that it's just simply hanging around these people because I don't have a real say in the matter. I met a few more locals too that were... I guess around my age, but again they're into drinking and smoking and... just don't get that great of a feeling when I'm around them.
I don't know... I guess when it all comes down to it, I am glad that I took the experience to study in another country, but I am so ready to come home right now. Time seems to be at a standstill right now for me, and this trip seems to just drag on. The fact that I'm not going anywhere for spring break makes it seem like it’s going to drag on that much more slower. Steph and a couple of the guys are going to be here too, so I won't be alone. I don't know, Steph and I might try to go to Scotland, but it doesn't really look like that'll happen. Which is fine, because I want to be careful with my money.
And right now I only have limited funds to work with until I get some money from my school that I'm supposed to have. I have to sign a sheet of paper and then fax that back to the school so I can have the money. I don't really know why I have to do all that. I'm half a world away and I have to do the simple stupid thing of signing my name on a piece of paper and then fax it. It's lucky that I have a fax, what if I didn't? Then I'd be royally screwed pretty much. I guess I'm just ready to be done with this experience. I'm ready to get back to work to a steady job so I can make some money. I'm ready to get my schooling done to get a realy job, but even that scares the begeezies outta me. And for gosh sake, I really miss driving my car around. I just want to hear back from my mom so I can at least calm down a little. She and my dad have a knack for being able to calm me down when I get stressed.
It's raining right now. Yah I know, big surprise isn't it? I was totally unprepared for class this morning. I ran out in my flipflops and just my fleece jacket, only to be greeted by this meddlesome rain. I didn't have time to run back in to grab my rainjacket and to put socks and real shoes on because I was already running a tad late. Then I spent a heck of a lot of money on groceries. I'm pretty sure that most of my expenses have been used on groceries. I have bought a few things for myself and one souvenier for one person, and that's it. I kind of screwed myself when I went to Northern Ireland. I took out cash that I didn't even really need, and I still have some left over that I'm not quite sure what to do with yet. It's my own fault yes, so I must learn from it.
Anyway... I supose I shall be done rambling for now. This entry is already long enough. But I will probably return (Perhaps today even). Hope everyone is having a good week, and if you're on Spring Break then woo hoo! :)
See ya later gators.
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