Currently Playing Jars of Clay By Jars of Clay see related

Beautiful day in Ireland!

It's the official first day of spring break and I couldn't ask for better weather. The sun is shining, there isn't a cloud in the sky, and it has to be at least 70 degrees outside right now. I'm sitting outisde with my roomate Steph right now. We're soaking up some sun and taking every advantage of this weather. We just had 3 straight days of rain, clouds and wind, so this is beautiful!

So St. Patrick's Day was two days ago and it was definately interesting. The morning had to have been the best part because we were in the town parade. Haha my first time marching in a parade and my professors decided to put me in charge of everything. It was all good though because we figured out what we were doing and where we were going. Everyone was dressed up in green, and white and orange (The colors of the Republic's flag) and we also had one of my professors kids dress up as a leprechaun. He had a lot of fun with it. We also did some face painting, and nails, and green eyelashes. We definately went all out. Of course everyone was totally trashed that day. Some of my classmates started drinking at 9am on St. Patrick's Day, and continued on drinking the rest of the day until midnight the official end of St. Patrick's Day. I wasn't really too enthused with getting drunk or drinking at all, so I hung out with some of the kids for a little bit, had a dinner with two of my classmates, then spent a quiet evening in the cottage doing some laundry and getting other things done.

On the 18th we had a little day trip planned to Castlebar. That was really nice. We went to Ballintuber Abbey, and then we had a couple hours to wander around Castlebar to do some shopping or whatever. My friend Melissa and I walked around together, had lunch and just... yeah shopped. Haha I didn't buy anything only because I'm on a budget until I get some money that my school is giving to me.

Most of our classmates are gone on their spring break trips now. Some are leaving within the next couple days. There are... about 5 or 6 of us that are staying in Louisburgh, so we'll have some company too. Steph and I might go visit some friends that we met when we were in Dublin. Some students from Michigan who are on a study abroad program similar to the one that my school does. Steph and I met a couple of the guys and girls in that group and we thought it would be cool to visit each other while we were here. One of the guys is really ncie. His name is Rob, and him and I talked quite a bit. Haha Steph likes to think that we'll find a romance story or something. But we'll see what happens.

I'm feeling quite better about everything now. I'm still really excited to go home, but I think the melancholy weather we had the past few days was making me a little depressed. But now the sun is shining, it's warm, and all is good with me. Soon enough this break will be done and it'll be time to get back to class.  I'd like to not think about that too much though.

So for now... I'm just going to sit back... and soak up some sun. It is a good day today.

Currently Reading The Da Vinci Code By Dan Brown see related

One month:

That's how long I've been in Ireland now. Exactly one month with about 2 more to go. Last time I even looked at this journal was near the very begining when I first arrived. Since then my feelings have been changing quite a bit. In a recent letter to my mom I wrote:

            Sad to say I really can't wait until May when I can come home. I'm starting to feel the homesickness factor now. It's nothing too great, so no worries. I obviously can't come home anyway, and I'm not really ready to leave Ireland just yet. I'm just really missing everything that's going on back home that I can't be there to see. Like Noah loosing his teeth. I miss the chaos the house is in when you're taking down all the snowmen stuff and getting ready for easter/spring decorating. I miss Dad's teasing and his yelling at me to do the dishes, or clean up the hair in the bathroom. I miss not being able to get in my car and drive somewhere when I need to. There've been so many times I've wanted to just call Tristan or Sarah up and ask them if they want to hang out today.

            This trip is making me realize how important everything back home is to me. How important the family means to me, and how much I cherish and love all my friends back home. I don't think I tell you and Dad, enough how much I love you and that I really do appreciate all that you've done for me. There are people I know who don't have parents at all, or who do have parents but are horrible ones, and have horrible habits. If it wasn't for you and Dad I probably wouldn't even be able to go on this trip, let alone be the person I am today. Thanks to the way you brought me up, I know that I am becoming more and more responsible to my life and actions. For that I am convinced that you are the best parents inthe world. I don't think I show my appreciation to the rest of the family that much either. I don't spend a lot of time with the cousins (Excpet for Tristan of course) and I could see Annette and the boys anytime I wanted because they're only minutes from the house, and I don't even take that opportunity.

            As much as I want to come home, I'm scared to as well. I don't want to have to worry about all this debt and money issues I'm going to have. I wish I didn't have to deal with that stupid FAFSA to get my loans out for next school year. I really hope I have a job at TJ Maxx when I get back too. Just in case, I'm going to do some job searching while I'm in Ireland so that I can try and get one when I come back. I don't want to financially burden you or Dad. I wish I was going into a Doctor profession or something because then I'd have the money to buy you two a cabin or a condo in Florida. But sadly my teacher's salary isn't going to get me much. I might be able to to the cabin idea, but probably not the condo in Florida.

            I'm getting along with everyone in the group just fine, but like I've said before I don't have any real close relationships with anyone here. They all like to go out to the pubs and drink and what not. I go out with them, I just don't drink and then everyone asks why and so I tell them "I just don't want to" then I get all these wierd looks and then everyone just forgets about it. There are a few other girls who don't really drink either, and one of them I hang around quite a bit, but other than that it's just simply hanging around these people because I don't have a real say in the matter. I met a few more locals too that were... I guess around my age, but again they're into drinking and smoking and... just don't get that great of a feeling when I'm around them.

            I don't know... I guess when it all comes down to it, I am glad that I took the experience to study in another country, but I am so ready to come home right now. Time seems to be at a standstill right now for me, and this trip seems to just drag on. The fact that I'm not going anywhere for spring break makes it seem like it’s going to drag on that much more slower. Steph and a couple of the guys are going to be here too, so I won't be alone. I don't know, Steph and I might try to go to Scotland, but it doesn't really look like that'll happen. Which is fine, because I want to be careful with my money.

And right now I only have limited funds to work with until I get some money from my school that I'm supposed to have. I have to sign a sheet of paper and then fax that back to the school so I can have the money. I don't really know why I have to do all that. I'm half a world away and I have to do the simple stupid thing of signing my name on a piece of paper and then fax it. It's lucky that I have a fax, what if I didn't? Then I'd be royally screwed pretty much. I guess I'm just ready to be done with this experience. I'm ready to get back to work to a steady job so I can make some money. I'm ready to get my schooling done to get a realy job, but even that scares the begeezies outta me. And for gosh sake, I really miss driving my car around. I just want to hear back from my mom so I can at least calm down a little. She and my dad have a knack for being able to calm me down when I get stressed. 

     It's raining right now. Yah I know, big surprise isn't it? I was totally unprepared for class this morning. I ran out in my flipflops and just my fleece jacket, only to be greeted by this meddlesome rain. I didn't have time to run back in to grab my rainjacket and to put socks and real shoes on because I was already running a tad late. Then I spent a heck of a lot of money on groceries. I'm pretty sure that most of my expenses have been used on groceries. I have bought a few things for myself and one souvenier for one person, and that's it. I kind of screwed myself when I went to Northern Ireland. I took out cash that I didn't even really need, and I still have some left over that I'm not quite sure what to do with yet. It's my own fault yes, so I must learn from it.

     Anyway... I supose I shall be done rambling for now. This entry is already long enough. But I will probably return (Perhaps today even). Hope everyone is having a good week, and if you're on Spring Break then woo hoo! :)

See ya later gators.

Greetings from Ireland!

To those of who who didn't know, I currently reside in Lousiburgh Ireland, County Mayo. I've been living here for a couple weeks now and am enjoying it greatly. I will be here until the begining of may so roughly it'll be about 3 months and a couple weeks that I will be here.

As I write to all of you now, I'm sitting in an internet Cafe in Galway, a city that is almost the size of my hometown, Duluth MN. It's very wet in Ireland, and right now it is a little cold. But I am thankful for my rain jacket and my water proof shoes. Though I wish my jeans were just as waterproof too.

It's different over here that's for sure. I'm still getting strange looks from a lot of people, but I hope that as time goes on that will wear off and I will get to meet a lot of people while I'm here. I am not in Ireland alone to begin with, however. I am studying with a group of my own classmates from my own college. I know all of them, but not well enough to call them my friends. They're just some classmates. I do have one friend who is one of my roomates while I'm here. So it is nice to have a friend wtih me, as well as to have other pople I know with me.

So... I will have internet where I'm staying very soon, and I hope to get the chacne to chat with all of you as soon as possible. I need some contact with the outside world. (My outside world to be exact). So don't be afraid to drop me an email, because I will check i as often as I can, and once I get my internet hooked up where I'm linving, I will be on even more.

I miss all of you!

So can we say blah?

I'm still in this wierd mood I was in a couple weeks ago. Not as much in a depressed state though.

I got my airline tickets confirmed and everything today. The actual tickets came in the mail too. So this is it. I'm really going. I'm really going to be in Ireland for the next 4 months

Right now I'm putting off some errands I need to run. I don't really want to venture out into the snow and cold abyss that is the town I live in. Plus my gas tank is pretty much on Empty so I need to go put gas in my car as well. I'm so on top of things aren't I?

One group of my friends are being really cool right now. They want to have a going away party for me next time we have our Bible study group. It's always on Wednesday nights, and so they all planned that next Wednesday was going to be a combination Bible study and going away party too. So I'm pumped about that. Too bad that a certain boy is being very stupid to me right now.

I feel like I'm running out of time. Somehow, all of a sudden, I've been bombarded with a few personal issues. And I'm leaving in less than 2 weeks, going to be gone for 4 months... what do I do about them? I want to have at least a little bit of closure so I can... try to have a good time in Ireland. I still have this feeling that when I come back, no one will even remember who I am, and everything that I left will be gone.

Not to mention that certain people in my life have just been pissing me off lately. The whole fakeness that people have been giving to me... makes me sick. All of a sudden a person who I considered to be a friend has now magically left. Doesn't really talk to me, or care to know what's going on in my life, but yet he's interested in his other friends. So what's up with that?

Anyway... I'm talking to Gabbie right now, and sitll putting off these errands I need to run. Don't really know what I'm going to do tonight. Might go bowling with my sister and her boyfriend along with a few other friends, but not really sure about that either.

Soooo... yah that's all I have to say about that.

Have you ever just felt like you didn't have anyone? Somehow I am feeling like that. I can't really explain why. I'm angry beyond all belief, scared, afraid and incredibly depressed all at the same time. I've come across a lot of fake people in my life, and for some strange reason those people I choose to try and associate with more than those who are genuine to me. I'm tired of all the fake people. If you've got something to say to me, then say it, or else I'm not going to give you the time of day.

You and I are here

Underwater

The seconds are so dear

Underwater

I’m searching for a light

To draw me closer

I hold my breath in tight

Bring me closer

I feel your touch

Will you pull me up again?

It’s not so bad down here

Underwater

Once you get past the fear

Underwater

Sends you through the haze

Just like a memory

I’ve been down here for days

Have you seen me?

I feel your touch

Will you pull me up again?

It’s all the same down to me

Underwater

There’s nothing much to see

Underwater

I can not make a sound

But I can listen

I can’t tell up from down

And now I miss them

I feel your touch

Will you pull me up again?

You’re just in sight

Will you save my life again?